Disclaimer : This is true story and permission obtained from rightful owner, Lisa (not her real name) to publish her story here. Purposely posted for the hope it served others that never to take lightly should a mom shown any signs that could be the mom possibly having post partum depression. Previously, I've shared about on dealing with traumatic birth experience. May we all can learn something from Lisa's storyDisclaimer from Lisa: I did not intend to disclosed or bring any ashamed on every person which is very important to me, but in order to tell you the full story of me, ppd and bbw, these people were involved. Please do not judge me in any ways, as I am human being full of mistakes. This is my first time ever I tell almost everything on my ppd.When my child was born, bbw was like an alien to me, as like i never heard of it. I am independent, active, outspoken, happy go lucky women before this, and i thought when our child was born, i would be the most happiest person on earth as we were waiting for him about three years after our marriage.First month: I was suffering birth trauma with third degree tear, i neither could not sit down nor walk properly, thus breastfeeding establishment was hard. It was started during my confinement period, where people keep telling me and condemning me on breastfeeding, as I kept quiet and suffered in silence. I was stressed.As a postgrad student, I did not give much rest on my confinement period, and I need to report back to my supervisor and going back to the lab, resuming my work.Firstly, I did not know I was suffering a ppd. First sign appears, I was having a severe mood swing, and soon, put our marriage at stake. I still remembered that I said to my husband on my depression, seeking support, but end up we were fighting in the middle of the night, for days. And I still remembered how I bluntly took my child for ride in the night, for nothing, until our gas empty.I am having a clingy child. He did not want to be un-hugged. He wants adult appearances for all times, to be hold and to be cuddled. It was difficult moment. I did not cook almost one month, house chores were halted. I was stressed again. And I still remember vividly, that people said I hold him too much, hence the clingy-ness. And I still remembered how my husband WARNED me, do not hold him, let him cry and let him settled alone.I still remembered how I was ignorantly let him cry alone, until our neighbour comes and ask, "anak kamu sakit yek, nangis dr pg smpi ptg x berenti". I heart hurts so much, and I cried non stop. The depression continues until at some point I could not remember what I did 5-10 minutes ago, and it was affecting my study. And they named me. Irresponsible student, lazy, absent at all times....Until one day, I saw a banner in facebook, "babywearing workshop in JB", kindly contact Dr. N W for registration. There! I need it! So much! And I never looked back afterwards. I enjoy babywearing so much, so is my child. I bbw him during house chores, cooking, when he was having a fever or whenever he feels uncomfortable. Bbw is helping me recover almost 50%, another 50% is finding your inner self. After had ppd, I felt like I am different person now, having different thought, towards life, study, academics, lecturers, friends, family and marriage. When child is feel safer, you actually have some time to think about yourself, what you wanted to do, what you wanted to achieve.Honestly, I have ditched most of my parasitic friends and I am now comfortable with my new friends. Mostly I was hanging out in bbw mamas group back then, chilled out happily. I did not meet most of them (you), but somehow i feel closer. That is what cured me the most, bbw, bbw topics, bbw royan ness...Thanks mamas and I am proud of you.This is my tips if you are having a clingy child:1. Push your daily schedule ahead or plan carefully as clingy child sometimes need to cuddle (a lot hokeh!) and talk as we wear them.2. I did not doing any deep fried during cooking (until now), steam, rebus, bakar, tumis, itu jek...nak goreng pegi mkn luar....hehe3. Sometimes house chores pon tergendala jgk, so reda jelah...
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