Giving birth for a second time | A whole new experience

Read my 1st borned story HERE

Read my 3rd borned story HERE

Disclaimer : It took me so long to finally write my 2nd boy birth story. Here goes. Sharing for giving some insight on any situation that labouring mom could be facing emotionally.

Giving birth for a second time after four years gap, wiser me made some mental checklist of do’s and don’ts.

• ·      Ensuring hubby will be present during the labour
• ·      Will not taking any pain-relieving medications for labour
• ·      Will not succumb on baby’s separation immediately once he was borned

· Definitely breastfeeding would be much better since I, myself is already lactation peer counsellor and learnt my lessons well those years before.

The whole pregnancy was not so glorified as I was suffering mild to severe headache constantly, and painful toothaches at times.  I even had to tender my job resignation since I could not cope with the throbbing pain and mood swings too. Most of the time, found me lied on bed.

I did had false alarm few days before the actual birth. Since my 1^stborned, I did’nt experienced any contractions whatsoever, it was pretty funny recalling my reaction towards it. It was like giving birth for the very first time.

On the day of birth, I was pretty calm and collected. When surges started early morning, I went on my days like nothing happened till after late afternoon, the contractions quicken and the intervals shortened. Had a hearty lunch, and we’re off to hospital after performed dzuhur prayers.

It was only about 4 in the evening, I finally given my own twin room shared by another expectant mom. By that time the surges were 5 minutes apart but when nurses checked whether I have fully dilated, it was only like 2 – 3 centimetres.

So, I was waiting anxiously wondering when it is going to happen, pretty determined, this time I want to feel what labour supposed to feel. Dua, dzikir and calming myself constantly and I walked mindlessly around the labour ward quite frequently for three reasons. BORED. WANT TO APPLY THOSE TIPS TELLING THAT WALKING CAN QUICKEN THE LABOUR PROCESS. KEEPING CALM HOPING TO REDUCE FEAR.

I was asleep out of waiting exhaustion but jolted by sudden strong sensation at the bottom around 2 in the morning. It was painful. Deep and long pain sensation. I quickly called hubby who was definitely asleep at the waiting room and hubby asked me to buzz the nurse immediately. A nurse came in and I was asked to go to the checked room and my dilation again was being checked. Yup.Full dilation. I was wheeled to the labour room immediately.

Not long, hubs entered and soon enough, the surges getting rapidly and strong. I was offered etonox gas and despite of those mental vows made on not to accept any of those, I inhaled it deeply for few times. Anyhow, despite supposed that stuff could lessen the pain-sensation, it did'nt make any difference. It was my hubby that I turned to. Hubs was great on calming me, giving some assurance that I am doing great and kept cheering me up. It’s like first time experience but the remark made by the midwife was truly upsetting. She said I supposed to know how to give birth now since it was already my second birth. I wanted to speak telling them that my 1^st birth was’nt anything like that but I hold it back.

Then, right and there the young female doctor who was supposed to do the whole procedure asked the middle-aged midwife who was just now made a nasty remark to take charge because she was too tired and lack of sleep. I could still remembered once the doctor gone, she grumbled all the way to the other nurse-assistants and I bet since she was reluctant and angry, I became the victim for her to let and dumped out her negative emotions.

The middle-aged midwife was rough, cold and kept making nasty remark. I could’nt help it when tears treaked down my cheeks though I was’nt sobbing and the least expected was screaming came out from m mouth.. It was pure innocent uncontrollable tears because I was bearing the pain and the tears was just how I responded to it. Yet, instead of calming me, she said I was being ungrateful, I should not cried because what I’m undergoing was supposed to be accepted as blessings of some sort and not to be cry at all. I was shocked and angry at the same time because she had no right to say that to me because it was only tears, not a word of complain or grumbled and why she had to make an overall assumption that I was being ungrateful? It was to hubby that I switched and channelled all my energy and emotions, relied on, and hearing only his calm and soothing words. Somehow, those nasty words did crept inside my mind and I was torned inside.

Soon as per according to hubby, it took about forty minutes altogether right from the second stage to the birth of my second son. The sensation was indeed was the very first time I felt and I was fully satisfied having to feel it afterall those years was wondering how it feels like.

Baby Hambali was immediately snuggled up to my chest and just few minutes or so, he was nursing quite expertly. He cried just a little bit. Hedid’nt had any complications and after he was cleaned up, we’re back to our room. I had minor stitches and the very next day, we were discharged.

12^th June 2008 marked the day Hambali borned around 3 in the morning.