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9/11 - first blood show.
- no constant surges.
- Only cramping now n then.
10/11 - 2nd blood show. More than the first one.
- 1st surges-like during asar
- Took a nap in case surges become stronger at night n might be in labour.
- Cuddled with husband and did some nipple stimulation which caused for another surge during maghrib. After that surges come and go. When i timed, they were not constant. - hubby happily watched football
12 am - took a hot shower.
-a family member came n rushed us to the hospital for check-up n for any 'in case'.
-reluctantly went because i was in no pain or constant surges. But i did. Not blaming anyone bcos i MADE the decision.
At the hospital - brought to labour room.
- Refused VE that the nurse wanted to do.
- The CTG was put right away to monitor the baby's heartbeat and my contractions.
- Baby's heartbeat was very okay, my contractions were still low around 30-40.
- Me and hubby were bored waiting so we decided to experiment the theory of nipple stimulation.
- We did, and in seconds the contractions went up to 80. Haha. Hubby was very amazed. At the same time we were giggling n i was moving quite a lot n i think somehow that effected the CTG reading.
- Nurse came n said 'heartbeat baby tak cantik ni'.
- Wanted to go home but another nurse said no because baby might be in danger. So we had to wait for the doctor on-call.
After some time, came the doctor.
'Saya doktor R, Pakar O&G'
We salam-ed and I smiled. She didn't. probably pelik i wasn't worried.
So with her worried face and kelam kabutness she said the heartbeat of the baby tak cantik. Baby MIGHT be in distress due to
- terbelit tali pusat around the neck and legs.
- meconium in water bag
- baby had swollen the meconium.
So she said she needed to break my water bag and gave me pitocin to speed up labour. Baby must come out as soon as possible.
I did not listen to the doc's suggestion. Instead tried to discuss with her on how to check the possibilities of the 3 that she mentioned above.
I said, 'Can we have a scan, 2d/3d/4d to check if the tali pusat is around the baby's neck?'
She said, 'Bole scan, tapi the scan machine is not accurate'
She did not perform any scan at all altho requested.
She did VE on me. 4cm dilated. Wholeheartedly she insisted on breaking my waterbag. Wholeheartedly i said no.
I requested for another hour of CTG monitoring. She allowed altho she said the reading might not be accurate and baby could still be in danger.
An hour passed by. The CTG reading was perfectly fine. Even thru surges baby's heartbeat was fine.
Doc entered d labour room n said 'So kita dah boleh pecahkan air ketuban? Dah ready and discuss?'
I said, 'Doc, CTG tunjuk ok. Ada possibilities tak baby ok and we wait some more?'
She was furious.
'Awak faham tak proses kelahiran? Encik suami tolong ye fahamkan isteri awak'
'Tapi doc, baby movement ok, heartbeat ok'
'That proves nothing. An hour ago she wasn't ok'
'I want more time'
Doc became even more furious. Wahaha.
'Puan Anis, ni bukan anak awak sorang. Ni anak awak dan suami. Jangan buat keputusan pentingkan diri' (Because dia tgk husband diam)
'Puan Anis, air belum pecah awak boleh solat pergi solat istikharah, solat hajat mintak petunjuk' Haha.
'Awak tau x sakit melahirkan ni sakit kedua selepas mati. Awak tak nak ambik epidural skrg tp nanti awak sakit dh 7-8 cm awak tak boleh tahan tak boleh meneran'
'Ni anak sulung ye, awak tak tau mcm mana'
'Tak syg ke dh mengandung 9 bulan dan sebab awak pentingkan diri baby tak dapat di selamatkan'
'Puan ni cucu pertama ke? Tolonglah nasihatkan anak puan. Yang di baca kt internet bkn semua btol'
My mom dah menangis. Husband was worried.
I keep calm. I decided to not follow her. Husband signed the consent form. It was 4am.
I was to stay there untill the nxt doc came at 9am.
I did some solat hajat. Read surah Maryam. Eat. Solat subuh.
Back on CTG.
Surges reading were getting higher and more frequent. But still very bearable.
Doc came. She said CTG reading is cantik. Altho she said she would prefer to break the water bag. She still can wait for another 5 hours.
I thank God.
Since Baby's heartbeat was ok. I was no longer on CTG.
I was sleepy but i didnt sleep.
As i knew then i must move around so i could dilate faster.
I was given only 5 hours.
I belly danced
I danced with hubby
We hugged n kissed.
Most importantly I remained positive.
Laughed, breathe and smiled thru every surges.
Doc entered the labour room
She was ready to break my water bag. I knew because she opened the 'rupturing amniotic fluid kit'.
Did VE. Still 5cm dilated.
'So saya akan pecahkan air ketuban, put on pitocin to induce n cepatkan labour'
'You are dilating very slowly ni. Sepatutnya 1 cm every 1 hour'
I asked, 'How long will u wait after u break the water?'
'5 hours, if water is clear, i'll give 1-2 more hours'
If tak dilate? Since u said I'm dilating slowly? And anak sulung lambat.
Well, dah pecah air, takut infection and baby lemas, maybe we need to CZer.
All because IF. And none of the doctors cared enough to do something else other than breaking my water bag!
She even said,'If pecahkan ketuban pagi td skrg maybe dh bersalin'
'If u were my sister i would ask u yo break the water'
'My shift end at 4pm, so u better hurry nanti x sempat bersalin dgn saya'
'Just because u want natural birth so much doesnt mean u have the right to harm the baby. Bayi itu amanah Allah, dia berhal diberi yang trbaik, dan keluar dgn sihat bukan dgn komplikasi'
Well said doctor, exactly what i wanted for my baby, and im gonna fight for it. This baby deserved calm, natural, non- cruelty birth. Mommy will fight for you.
You just stay strong and healthy inside, make the move whenever you are ready. Mommy will stay calm, take care of the rest and fight for you!
Doc gave us 15mins to make a decision.
Bare in mind all the talkings scared both my mom n husband.
Mom was very worried almost asked me to follow whatever the doc said.
Husband ikut jerr. Hehe.
Called dad. He knew nothing about gentle birth but his logic n common sense said if baby ok, balik je la rumah dulu. Or tanya opinion doc lain.
Doc came back.
I asked for more time. She said no.
I said, 'admit lah saya, on ctg n monitor lah.'
She said no. Awak happy2 bcos of your ignorant tapi nanti sy yg tak tido malam risaukan awak dan baby'
'So, Discharge or break the water bag?'
'Saya nak discharge doc, and seek for 2nd opinion'
I think she was shocked. Like a slap on the face.
Not because of my decision. I was very confident what i did was right. For me and baby.
But my concern was, where am I going to give birth?
I wasn't prepared for homebirth.
Will there be any doctor that will accept me since i was already in labour.
I pulled myself together. Wiped my own tears. Held my head up high. Keep on breathing.
Baby MUST NOT KNOW of the situation. Kept on zikir Ya Rahman.
Whats important was baby stay happy and calm inside so i could buy more time.
Called two hospitals. The second one was Tropicana Medical centre.
I would like to personally thank nurse Azwin from the O&G department.
She really listened to my situation and i believe she did everything in her power to slot in an appoinment for me with Dr.Noor Fidak.
By the time we were discharged, it was around 3:30PM.
Surges were constant by this time. 4-5mins apart and VERY intense.
Unable to hold any conversation with my husband anymore.
But he looked so worried inside the car while driving as the journey will take almost 1 hour from Bangi to Kota Damansara and we had no idea how the traffic was like.
So i forced myself to tell him,
'Don't worry syg, im okay, boleh tahan lagi surges, baby pn ok still moving, tapi laju la sket drive' haha.
Dia boleh tanya,'Syg sakit tak ni, ckp relax mcm x sakit, tp muka dah pucat and suruh laju. Sakit ke x?'
Wahaha. Sakit la. Tp was a good sakit. Boleh control breathing lagi. And i kept on reading surah Yunus ayat 31.
No one else can help us now, only Him.
Arrived at Tropicana. Refused to be dropped at the entrance.
Walked from car park to the 2nd floor. Pergi reception O&G and told her have an appoinment with Dr.Fidak at 530pm so i would like to be admitted first.
Nurse tu agaknya kesian tgk i was in labour pain, dia ckp 'tu Dr.Fidak, pergilah jumpa'
She was making herself a cup of coffee. Went to her, introduced myself, terus dia suruh masuk office.
Surges were strong. Almost couldnt walk. Tapi gagahkan jugak. Swayed hip kt org ramai. Tak kisah dah!
In her clinic i told her what happened, while standing at her table, tertonggeng sume ada. Dia ckp 'takpe2 bagus awak x duduk'
She performed a scan,
-baby was very engaged already.
-no tali pusat around her neck or anywhere else yg bahaya.
-heartbeat was very ok and stable.
-water looked clear/very dark no sign of meconium stain.
Hah! There you go. I knew it! All smiled. Husband pon dah lega. Hehe.
VE was done. She said she stretched a bit, dah 6cm dilated.
Masuk labour room. Very nice and cosy, i could give birth here i told myself
Took a long hot shower.Surges were more and more intense.Took me a while to bring myself out of the toilet and onto the bed.
It was Maghrib I think.
Surges were very strong. Cant move anymore. Probably because i dont have enough energy.
So in that strong surges i really focus on my deep breathing.
Lights were off.
Air cond was high but i was sweating.
Like a wave i layan-ed the surges n probably fell asleep now n then in that deep breathing.
I lost the sense of time
Did not check the clock either
My aunt came.Gave me a back massage with her warm palm. It was soothing.So bolehla move sikit.
Ate dates and papaya.Drank some water.
Surges were stronger and closer.
It was just me and hubby in the labour room now.
Doc came in.I was 8cm dilated.Doc said maybe another 2 hours ni.
Since ive gained some energy i told my husband taknak baring nanti lambat dilate takut tak der energy nnti.
I was crawling on the floor when 'pop' my waterbag broke.
Husband called d doc to check the waterbag.
Doc said it looked clear n no infection.
Doc asked me to squat on the bed and call her bila rasa nak meneran.
With very few energy left i kneeled at the end of the bed. Head on pillows, hands grabbing and squeezing hubby's finger.
The room was dark.Air cond was off. We were left undisturbed.
Surges were stronger than ever now.
With every surges my whole body especially my head were trembled beyond my control.
Sometimes i giggled.
I did not hold back.
I let loose.
I made sure my mouth was opened and jaw was relaxed.
Once in a while i vocalized 'oooo' 'haaaa'
I focus on my breathing.
Everytime i breathe in, i zikir ya Rahman. When i breathe out i zikir ya rahim.
When it was too strong i said Allahuakbar.
So i was focused.
Bare in my i wasnt all the way strong.In my head there were a lot of conversation. Haha.
'Should've taken epidural dem u woman.
'No! This is me. And surges cant be stronger than me.
'Allaah will not put me thru something i cant handle'
'My body is engineered for this'
'Malu lah nenek n mama dulu boleh je without epidural' wahaha.
Back to the surges.
While the surges were getting stronger, they somewhat felt different.
It as if rasa meneran altho u did not teran.
Bila surges dtg muka pon jadi mcm meneran.
Hubby siap check my back takot i terberak ke terteran baby x sedar.
After a few moment layan surges like i was in 2 worlds.
1 was riding the waves of surges and trembled hard.
1 was breathing deeply like breathing in a sleep.
And suddenly rasa there was something in between my vagina.
Oh my! Baby's head.
Told my husband.
He called the doc.
Nurse was rushing in and screaming.
I kept on breathing.
Felt like baby was sliding down.
I think baby's head n shoulder was out.
Heard baby's first cry.
Nothing else matter at that time.
Doc sampai, pulled baby's leg.
Doc wanted to put the baby on my chest but the cord was too short.Cord stopped pulsating, cut the cord.Immediate skin to skin.
Baby was pink, alert and calm.All praises to The Creator.
But mommy was bleeding too much from inside, got 2nd degree tear, so doc and her team did everything so efficiently and i was taken care of.
Hubby got to hold the baby and azan and bonding.
When everyhing was settled, baby was brought to me for breastfeeding.
Baby latched like a champ!
The next day both of us were healthy and happily discharged.
P/s - mommies don't worry, the koyak tak sakit pon. U can pee, poo, sit and walk in less than 24 hours. And i only took pain-killer once.
Alhamdulillah i managed to get the birth i wanted for my baby.
Mommies, be informed.
Follow your instinct.
Do not depend on people, because at the end of the day, its you and The Creator.
Make lots of dua so He will send the right people to you, inshaAllah.
Earn the birth you want, study study n study, stay healthy, stay postive.
The way you see birth will change the way you give birth. How true.
Baby did slide mommies! No push no teran needed.
To all future mommies, good luck.
I did feel like a champ after giving birth. Hehe.