Disclaimer : This birth story published after receiving permission from the rightful owner. No editing has been done & it is originally written as it is.
Elman Yawand Birth Story (HB/UC).
May 3rd 2013
-Pregnancy test showed +ve result
-went to clinic to double confirm, was 5 weeks ++ pregnant
-LMP: 27 March 2013
-Due: 3rd Jan 2014
-was on top of the world
-stumbled upon dear sister’s blog about her ‘natural labour’ birth story
Google : Kisah Kelahiran Raheesh Fayyadh
-got to know Hypnobirthing : The Mongan Method book, bought this online.
-explored more on natural, gentle birth online and offline, read positive birth stories everywhere especially on Hypnobirthing and AMANI BIRTH(Assisting Mothers for Active, Natural, Instinctive Birth)
-approached by AMANI birth guru sis Maria, kinda interested to join, discussed with hubby, both agreed and attended AMANI intensive course for 5 weeks
-knowledge learnt was mindblowing, far from expectation, felt so lucky to know all about pregnancy and delivery, ultimately the physiology of birth.
-learnt many things about pregnancy, role of hormones, birth plan, complications, balanced diet, drugs, minimizing medical interference, exercises, contractions , trusting Allah’s design and lots more. ~precious!
-pasted lots of positive affirmations around my room, sharing positive vibes with hubby
-stay in touch with gentle birth mommies and daddies
-since then, after deeeeep thought, set for homebirth delivery(yea first time mom & homebirth! :)), hubs gave full liberty to choose between hospital or at home, either way is okay since hospital is just a stone’s throw away, so that doesn’t seem a big deal..
-experienced morning sickness(shouldn’t be called morning , more like ‘all-day sickness’ for 4 months and a half!)
-was forced by KK nurse to drink ‘air gula’ when I was just three months pregnant, I declined, asked them to re-evaluate the test since I’m merely 23, no history of diabetic fm family, plus with such nauseous condition, result might be Inaccurate!
-test re-evaluated, need not drink that creepy water, only ask to drink once reached 7 months, I agreed to this. Did this when I reached 28 weeks, result was negative, Alhamdulillah…!
-empowered myself to dig more and more knowledge about pregnancy, delivery and complications(just in case
-watched natural birth videos, Keep myself fit, always accompany hubby everywhere he goes meniaga, eat balanced diet but sometimes discount myself for sinful foods….
-bought gymball and utilized it to the max, looked up for exercise and labor positions on the net and applied that into my daily work out
-Printed stages of labor: latent phase, active phase, transition, pushing stage and afterbirth(third stage) for both husband and wife easy reference, pasted them on our closet together with tips and tricks during labor plus acupressure techniques, etc
-listened to Relaxation cd…did visualization all the time….
-Everybody so pelik when we didn't prepare bags in car just in case nak teberanak and head up to hospital... we just smiled towards each other...
1st Jan 2014
-Followed Hubby berniaga near Shah Alam from 4pm till 2am
-next morning nurse from KK came over and said baby’s head already engaged, in 2-3 days InsyaAllah my time will come
-in my head’s mindset ‘ first baby usually the longest labour: hours-days-weeks’
-cuddled with hubby during the night
2nd Jan 2014
-woke up due to unusual pain near pelvic, 5 mins apart
-kejut hubby and told him I was in pain
-hubby gave me air zamzam and fed me ajwa dates
-at 6am we bathed together, hugged him due to sharp unbearable pain (1min apart), even hot shower didn’t help much…
-6.15am prayed subuh on bed while in excruciating pain, lucky it was just two rakaat, Allah really blessed me!
-6.20am surges got stronger and stonger, couldn’t stand anymore, move about from bed to toilet, emptying my bowel, finding the most comfortable position I could, Allah on my mouth non-stop, hubby asked to ‘tahan’and ‘sabar lil bit more’…yes I did… I thought it was going to be tomorrow or day after since everyone said first baby usually the longest labor…..
-6.30am to 7.00am : was restless…it’s just like someone cut your neck and your dying slowly …tak mati2…(Now I know how sakit bersalin really like!! I Love u Mom!!!) But I didn’t FIGHT the pain… I went through it… I said to myself “ if my mom could stand the pain, I could stand it too!!” and my courage and patience will send my baby into my arms!!! think positive all the way… I’m in complete control of what’s going on around me…vocalizing helped soooooo much! Keep myself moving from one place to another, tried few labor positions which worked out! *seriously can’t imagine how mothers being stuck on bed in hospital while fighting with strong surges, with ecg and wires attached to the body, barely able to move…!!
7.15am – hubby went out to send lil brother to nearest bus station.
7.30am- felt like emptying my bowel again and peed, suddenly blood show came out, drops and drops of blood coming down, tried not to panic, telling myself baby is getting near, my time is about to come very soon, made friends with all labor signs, placed gymball near toilet door, hugged it back and forth, was in kneeling position somewhat…my body was completely relaxed…when hands and teeth started shaking due to a very strong surge, I placed a cloth in my mouth so my jaws could relax…didn’t even thought of asking hubby to rush home….was completely positive with what’s happening.. “It’s about me and Allah now....not anyone else, “ I told myself.
7.45am- heard a gush of amniotic fluid from my back (still with gymball,kneeling position), looked back and was completely happy and relieved that my air ketuban seems crystal clear, no signs of fetal distress(no meconium sign, etc), continue with back and forth movement, zikr non stop,….
7.50am- felt like pushing, first push feels like there’s something down below, rounded shape…stop pushing… again felt like pushing(whenever I pushed, I feel ‘syok’ :)) this is the time crowning take place, ring of fire sensation started, I didn’t manage to check with mirror but I guess this time baby’s head and ears is already out, this time I could clearly hear sound of ‘suction’ all by himself(baby) to expel all liquid swallowed by baby inside his nose and mouth throughout 9 months of being inside the water(physiology of birth!)….. Allah is the Greatest!
8.00am- Now it’s time for the last push, I quickly stood up and pushed… one final push that baby sliding down through the birth canal into my bare hands.. “subhanAllah thaaaat easy..??!!” I told myself..… It all went super fast… hubby still outside..*surprise sayang!* …baby was so clean secalit darah pun tiada(must be d consistent intake of air kelapa!!) and pinkish too..no any sign of bluish/distress, crying out loud and poop black meconium…alhamdulillah… soon after, I held him in my arms, skin to skin …oxytocin overload…!! Suddenly I thought of checking his genital!! Oh it’s a gun!! Hehee..born to be a hero, baby! For the first 5-10 mins, baby still looked awkward to latch…in just seconds after that, baby latched like a champion!! Alhamdulillah….
8.20am- This was when hubby came back and saw nobody on bed but he overheard ‘week uwekk’ sound in bathroom… he was super speechless…only Ya Allah came out from his mouth several times.. I was just smiling gratefully and showed him our precious baby…..he tahnik-ed our baby with bit of ajwa, rub onto his gum and tongue…baby then latched even faster!! skin to skin for about half an hour, waiting for blood clots to come out and the birth of placenta…so hubby sempat tengok I bersalin placenta only.. which is okaylaaa dari termiss everything! the feeling after birthing both my baby and placenta was so fresh… I felt so energetic w/o any drugs given….! Did DCC(Delay cord clamping) which at first we plan for lotus birth but due to some interference from family members, we just managed to do DCC for a decent 2 hours before nurses from nearby KK came and cut the cord..alhamdulillah…
Went to nearby Hospital for post birth monitoring…alhamdulillah mommy’s doing fine..no any bleeding or remaining inside(first time rasa VE/Seluk…ayoyooo…sakit giler!) , no painkiller given after 1cm stitched, felt so fresh… on the other hand, baby is the other way around…warded due to ‘homebirth’ reason while baby is doing just fine.. lessons learnt.. next time around will go to gentle birth hospital i.e. Nury Institute…mommy silap...lahir dah gentle birth…post birth was traumatized with what they did to my baby (just because suspicious lahir di rumah)….so first and last at this hospital…
*Just to share, at first we actually planned for waterbirth + doula to come and asists… but all x menjadi cos x sangka labour kejap sgt ( terus dpt 5mins apart)..so x sempt isi air dlm birth pool and call up for doula…. In gentle birth, doula is not midwife which ramai yg sering keliru dan salah anggap… doula is non-medical person who assists a woman before, during , or after childbirth, as well as her partner and/or family, by providing physical assistance, and emotional support…. Ramai yg pertikaikan kenapa tak panggil bidan/midwife to come and assists… we have a problem here in Msia where homebirth is not ‘really’ welcomed and seems very alien dlm klgn masyarakat kita… so you should know better…. that’s about it.
Another IMPORTANT point I’d like to highlight, do not blindly choose homebirth w/o thorough investigations and studies (not just on natural birth but make sure you’re fit and free from any complications during pregnancy!!!!)… all you can apply into your pregnancy is to achieve GENTLE BIRTH… this is what matters most.. It can happen anywhere, in hospital, at home, at workplace or even in car…. You need to be empowered to be in control with your body… homebirth or hospital birth is just a matter of place… you can still opt for hospital birth by choosing pro natural birth gynae for instance Dr Idora @Pantai Bangsar, Dr Norfidak @Pusrawi, Dr Haw @Columbia Asia , Dr Roslan @FPP Selayang and many many more…. All you’ve got to do is prepare your birth plan and present it to your gynae and try to achieve mutual understanding… seriously, to set your mind for homebirth is no joke…. You’ve got to be mentally, physically and spiritually prepared for it all……
Above all, I believe it is all those prayers from beloved hubby, parents and friends that Allah safeguard my delivery till the end….plus I guess it’s my rezeki to have such short labour…Allah has answered my prayers… :’ ) All in all, there was no VE (Vaginal examination) during labour which means no stress to know at which level baby is in now plus no pain too!, no EPI(episiotomy) just 1cm natural tear which I could pee and poo even right after delivery and stitched, no AROM (Artificial rupture of membrane-pecah air ketuban dgn sengaja), no sedatives given to kill the contraction/surges pain, no Pitocin to force placenta to come out, and no IV drip since I could drink and eat all by myself…..plus I was so lucky that from the very first minutes baby was born and we did kangaroo care, I’ve been blessed to have generous amount of breast milk from day 1 until now….this is the amazing benefit of skin to skin right after birth…. All praises are to Allah taala for His best planning…!
Reasons why I chose homebirth
- I’m in healthy pregnancy
- I trust in my ability to birth my baby
- I trust that my body knows exactly what it’s doing
- I want to birth freely
- I want to eat and drink during labour
- I want to pee and poo all by myself w/o any medicine
- I want cozy surrounding (dim light, something that feels like home)
- I want to vocalize!
- I don’t want regular Vaginal Examination(VE)
- I don’t want Episiotomy
- I don’t want to be induced
- I don’t want to be strapped with wires while fighting with contraction
- I want to move about
- I want my gymball beside me
- I don’t want any drugs (painkiller, etc) cos I know the ADVERSE effect of all these
- Last but not least, I know Allah is with me…
and that I’m not doing anything against ISLAM & syari’at..
(thinking of Maryam A.S wonderful birth story)
Note to share:
- First and foremost, SEEK knowledge… don’t blindly follow people… don’t dwell yourself on NEGATIVE birth stories… and don’t help spreading such stories to anyone…. know your body… you must be fit and free from any complications during pregnancy… get to know all these complications… be an ACTIVE birther…don’t just depend and leave everything to your doctor.. it’s your body.. your baby….your choice..and your rights!
- When we want to leave all our affairs(urusan dunia) to Allah swt, never take HIM for granted… means never miss 5x solat… even if our body is aching, even third trimester is such a killer, there’s no excuse…. Solat wherever you are and used any positions you find most comfortable with… always pesan your hubs to keep reminding you whenever you feel lazy /too tired to solat..hubs must be very strict on this! You must take good care of your Relationship with Allah..! Allah must come first before anyone else ... solat sunat is a bonus too!!
- Make du’a…lots and lots of du’a… make it consistent enough… repeat it again and again.. show Allah that you are serious and you seek for His blessing even if everyone around you seems to object your idea…
- SOLAT AND DU’A should be on TOP of everything…… whatever happens around you, share it with your baby and Allah……cos at the end of the day, it’s not about anyone else…it’s about you and Allah…!
- Read QURAN… consistent enough that you’d feel lost when you missed reading it…
Read all… but these are what I’ve been reading and stressing more:
Maryam(most powerful! )
Below are what I’ve been consuming from the day I was pregnant until today:
-yemeni pure honey(for Excellent wellbeing + baby)
-jus peria(to boost hb)
-safron (To cleanse blood, baby’s IQ & EQ)
-goat’s milk (Hiraq) –To prevent/lessen jaundice on baby, Alhamdulillah it works!
-Air Kelapa everyday from 7 months!!!
-apple juice and slices for easy bowel movement(lawas)
-red raspberry leaf tea (to boost contraction)
-**mothercare perineal gel
To sum up, I’d like to quote my dear sister Mazneera’s humble opinion on homebirth….
Let us do some reflection…
“doktor patut kaji kenapa fenomena bersalin di rumah ini semakin meluas dan kembali mendapat tempat di hati ibu2 di Msia."
Apa yg membuatkan mereka "berpaling" dr hospital birth?
Rata2 kerana mahukan gentle birth, mahu hak mereka ketika proses kelahiran berlangsung lebih dihormati, tidak diperlakukan sewenang2 nya persis mereka tiada hak ke atas tubuh badan mereka atas nama "safety, progress, memudahkan"
Ada juga lantaran birth trauma yg dialami dlm pengalaman terdahulu, yg membuatkn mereka lebih takut dgn doktor dan hospital drpd proses kelahiran itu sendiri. Apatah lagi bila seorg ibu itu tahu ttg hakikat fisiologi kelahiran, bhw kelahiran blh berlangsung tanpa vaginal exam, AROM, drugs, episiotomy dan not even pushing, maka ibu2 yg yakin dgn kelahiran fitrah ini merasakan ya, mereka MAMPU MELAHIRKAN tanpa bantuan luar. Allah telah membekalkan innate wisdom (kebijaksanaan) kpd ibu dan bayi utk mengharungi proses kelahiran, lengkap dgn built in mekanisma - hormon, contraction, utk membantu ibu2 ini mengharungi proses kelahiran, sepertimana kita blh conceive baby tanpa perlu melakukannya di hospital, dan grow baby inside our wombs tanpa perlu bantuan dr luar selama hampir 40 minggu.
Pendek kata, bersalin itu suatu fitrah, suatu proses alami dan tdk hanya perlu berlaku di hospital sahaja. Doktor diperlukan utk membantu bila situasi memerlukan, bukannya doktor yg perlu berperanan aktif mengeluarkan bayi dr rahim si ibu (by intervening and disturbing the natural process)….
"Rabbi Yassir wa la tu’assir..Rabbi tamim bil khair…”- O’Allah! Make it easy and do not make it difficult..O’Allah! Make it end well..Amin..
“Man jadda wa jadda” – if your serious, you’ll succeed…
“When you change the way you VIEW birth, the way you birth will change….”-Marie F. Mongan
Notice: AMANI supports your decisions regarding your birth and advocates for natural birth with minimal medical interventions. However, we do not advise you to forego prenatal care or to plan an unassisted birth. We encourage prenatal education and informed consent. Our premise is that you do your own research and seek out birth care professionals you trust, who will support your decisions and will not interfere unless complications arise.”