Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Are you an Attachment Parent?

Summary from : "Are You An Attachment Parent; Jennifer Scoby):

You can practice most of the ideals of attachment parenting - babywearing, breastfeeding, cosleeping, limiting separations, etc, and still not be an attachment parent if you don't let yourself get emotionally attached to your baby or child. Or you can choose to practice almost none of these ideals and still be an attachment parent if you do form a genuine emotional connection.

Attachment forms when we take the time to really get to know our chhildren, from of our love for them. It happens when we allow ourselves to cross over ino their being every bit as important as our own. 

Attachment parenting isn't about how often we take our children on outings, or how many minutes a day we spend reading to them, or even whether we use a stroller or a sling, cosleeper or crib. It's about being in tune with who they are and what they need. About placing a priority not just on their physical health, but their emotional health, and recognizing the importance that parenting has in reaching that goal.

Who knows your child best? You do, right? This is true especially if you have a strong attached relationship. And who knows how to parent your child best? You do, of course. Not your mother-in-law, not your best friend, not your pediatrician. Every person on this planet is unique, pysically and emotionally and every child has unique needs that change as they grow.

All of the talk about attachment parenting and you will find that it is really about just one thing - connection. A true connection fosters mutual sensitivity, understanding and trust, essential ingredients for a strong positive relationship. Our attached relationship with our children guides us as we escort them from their days as needy infants, along the twists, bumps, calms child and thrills of their childhood, adolescence and young adulthood to the great plateau of their adulthood. With their hearts and minds full from a lifetime of basking in our support our children can carry with them the tools they need to form their own true connections with the rest of the world.

And it's pretty hard not to form a strong connection and get to know your child really well when you do breastfeed, spend lots of time with them, wear or carry them everywhere you go, are available to them all night, use positive discipline and practice the other ideals of attachment parenting. These are the tools that enhance the quintessential ideal of attachment parenting;Emotional Responsiveness.

And as an attachment parent, you not only love your children, you love being with them and building on that attached relationship for a lifetime.

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